Here's the spoiler: At the end of the movie, a little piece of you dies. You'll spend the rest of your life searching in vain for that missing piece, but it's gone, it's gone. You'll wander the streets at night peering into your neighbors' windows as they sit down for dinner. Friends and family will try to pinpoint when exactly you turned into the walking dead. You'll answer their questions and concerns with a blank stare and some mumblings about a runaway testicle. When AMC inevitably makes Tomcats the "movie of the month," a series of mysterious murders will take place in your city. You'll wake up the next morning balled up on the floor of the kitchen with a faint taste of brains in your mouth. Then you'll crawl into the living room and onto the couch. You'll stare at the wall, wet yourself a little and then begin to laugh maniacally. Because once your dead inside, Jake Busey in a thong is actually pretty damn funny.