If you can watch a Bond film from 1983 that isn't as good as Octopussy and still enjoy it.
If you can accept production values which aren't that much above the level of a TV movie.
If you can look at Sean Connery with wrinkles on his forehead beneath an obvious toupée and still see James Bond.
If you can get past an inexperienced Basinger, a weaker Largo and a jolly Q.
If you can learn to love an idiosyncratic score, not up there with Barry on his worst day.
If you don't believe the hyperbolic reviews that it was greeted with on release.
If you can meet a poker battle and a video game face off and enjoy them both the same.
Yours is Never Say Never Again and everything that's in it.
And, what is more, you'll probably enjoy it, my son!