We've been served - a terrible film.

Okay, I'll admit that since I'm white and have had no practical experience in the "competitive world of step-dancing," I might not exactly be an authority on this type of film. On the other hand, I do know a bad motion picture when I see it.

And, boy, have I just seen it.

Filmed in Low-Budget-Vision and directed by Ian Iqubal Rashid, ("A Touch of Pink"), "How She Move" tells the tale of how important it is to follow one's dreams - even if those dreams include bopping around to loud, irritating hip-hop music and speaking dialogue the average person would not understand if he or she had an international translator.

I'll try to give a small synopsis of the "plot." First of all there are two actors that look like LL Cool J who work in an auto shop in Toronto (the Mecca of racial diversity), but still have time to practice dancing for eight hours a day.

There are a few other guys in this "crew," including a token white dude and a guy that looks like Denzel Washington in "Malcolm X." There are also two women in the movie - one resembles Serena Williams and the other looks like Geraldine from the old "Flip Wilson Show." One of these ladies was kicked out of a private college because her parents spent all of her tuition on a drug-addicted sibling. The other girl, a member of Salt N Pepa, no doubt, is just plain no good.

There's another guy who looks like Eddie Murphy's Buckwheat, while still another actor who's a Huggy Bear knock-off. These guys are rival step dancers. Evidently, this activity is very hard-core in the 'hood, and they are all practicing for the big "Step Monster" jam in Detroit.

Since I was unable to understand 90 percent of the dialogue (perhaps some subtitles would have been useful, as in a Bergman film or that one music video by Snow), it's hard to explain what happens, other than there's a lot of arguing, the Serena Williams girl (who never smiles, by the way) becomes a freelance stepper (moving from group to group), there's some step-dancing and a lot of irritating hip-hop music.

It's a typical rags-to-riches story; sort of like "Rocky" with a really bad soundtrack, "Rudy" with annoying rap music in the background, "Cry Freedom" without the laughs.

But why does a film - which could have made a big impact on black audiences - have to contain drug addiction, bad parents and a title that sounds like a first-grader saying the phrase, "How she moves"?

I was "moved" by this movie, however. Moved to leave the theater as quickly as possible.