Drive In Massacre opens with a juicy double murder which suggests that the film might be something of a treat for lovers of outrageous 70s gore flicks: a sabre wielding maniac graphically kills a couple at the drive in, decapitating the guy whilst he is adjusting the loudspeakers next to his car, and then skewering the screaming girlfriend through the neck.<br /><br />But don't be fooled by this delightfully trashy and bloody beginning, for what follows is some of the most tedious garbage to ever grace a slasher film, as a pair of bumbling detectives (John F. Goff and Steve Vincent) struggle to uncover the identify of the killer and the body count steadily rises.<br /><br />With dreadful production values, acting to match, several interminably dull scenes of inane dialogue between the law and a variety of viable suspects, some equally inane chit-chat from the stupid couples who visit the drive-in (they keep on coming, despite the presence of a maniac), a totally incongruous scene where a machete wielding loon is pursued through a warehouse by the cops, an ending that fails to resolve matters (preferring instead to rely on the old 'the killer might be amongst you' gimmick), and very little in the way of gore after the first few minutes, Drive In Massacre will test the patience of even the most avid fan of grade-Z horror.<br /><br />In desperation, director Stu Segall attempts to inject a little sleaze into proceedings with the inclusion of a pervy peeping tom and a brief bit of nudity from a good looking bird with a nasty perm, but a masturbating voyeur and a nice pair of tits are not nearly enough to save this film from being a total yawn.<br /><br />2.5 out of 10, rounded up to 3 for the bearded cue-ball drive-in boss's tasty line in suits.