It grates my potatoes when I read reviews on this site that say things like "This is worst film ever!" about films like Battlefield Earth, Pearl Harbour, etc. OK, these films are dreadful and made by people who should know better but compared to this tripe, and its ilk, I would describe Battlefield Earth as a cinematic masterpiece.<br /><br />I would concede that it's certainly possible to make a worse film than this but you have to be genuinely trying to make a bad film.<br /><br />** Spoilers ahead ** (Ha, as if you could spoil this film.)<br /><br />There are just so many things wrong with this film and it takes multiple viewings to spot them. E.g., at one point, John, a good guy, while trying to come up with a plan with rescue Billy's sister suggests using his adopted children a decoy! Also, the bad guy kidnaps Billy's sister early and doesn't think of using her as bait to capture Billy until right at the end of the film.<br /><br />Even the one thing that they seem to have put a bit of effort into - the gun-based action sequences - are bad. They're just boring and repetitive.<br /><br />However, I learnt several interesting things from this movie:<br /><br />1. Wherever this film is set, it is certainly a very cosmopolitan area. The lead character, who seems to have lived here all his life, has managed to pick up a South African accent. The evil gangsters all seem to sound Mexican and/or Asian. The women have an array of different, peculiar American accents. (Were the dubbing actors having bets on who could do most stupid voices?)<br /><br />2. Being brutally machine-gunned down results in no more than slight bleeding from the mouth (and then only sometimes).<br /><br />3. Any slight brush against a ninja's sword results in instantaneous death.<br /><br />4. Ninjas, i.e. stealth assassins, wear Day-Glo padded suits. A headband with 'ninja' written on it is the current must-have ninja accessory.<br /><br />5. Job prospects are poor for Asian ninjas nowadays. (You'd think Billy would have thought of that before going off to spend 10 years at Ninja School.) However, many of the causasian ones seem to have jobs that involve poncing about in glades.<br /><br />6. When a ninja dies, a windchime somewhere falls down.<br /><br />Nevertheless, this film is a hoot. I honestly can't decide if this it is really as bad this or if someone is taking the piss - especially with regards to the randomly interspersed ninja sequences and the godawful dubbing.<br /><br />Thoroughly recommended.