From the first minute I tuned to this movie, I knew it was gonna be a lame rip-off of the great French comedy series "Taxi", written by Luc Besson (directors: Gerard Pires and Gerard Krawczyk).<br /><br />And boy, I was right.<br /><br />This is not a movie. This is a crime against French cinema.<br /><br />I am horrified that such an entertaining French series (I highly regard French and English humor) was put through the shredder to create this.<br /><br />What do you get?<br /><br />The movie's script is basically a re-write of the French one (Most of the dialogue was just translated. What happened to all those fun puns and all that wit and all those expertly timed jokes?). Some scenes are boring. I did not enjoy Jimmy Fallon at all, as he seemed too stupid and "loser"-ish. Well, at least Frederic Diefenthal as the French original character (I will abbreviate it as F.O.C. in this review) Emilien was actually funny. Mostly because of him being an incompetent blockhead and being paired with F.O.C. Daniel (played by Samy Naceri), a sarcastic, witty taxi driver with a love for cars and speed. Which brings me to the horrible choice to replace Daniel, Queen Latifah. I considered her as a horrible choice. Why pick a black woman to replace Samy Naceri is beyond me. The jokes relating to cars are a new concept, and I didn't find them at all funny (yeah, Luc Besson originally just used Daniel's car expertry to throw a lot of jokes which left me on the floor laughing).<br /><br />The chemistry between the two main characters is lacking too. Samy Naceri and Frederic Diefenthal made a good team: one a speed-maniac taxi driver, the other, an incompetent policeman who, after eight tries, still couldn't get his driver's licence. (Yes. That's right. Tell me honestly that this possibility is funnier than some jerk losing his licence because his driving is crap. How'd he get his licence anyway?) This combination has many comedic possibilities, and to be honest, Luc Besson managed to harness more of these, while Ben Garant merely took out most of the comedy and inserted lame American-friendly jokes which are actually very, utterly, unbelievably and desperately bad.<br /><br />Another gripe: the ambiance is changed. The French originals had a quirky, almost absurdist sense of humor, a slick, lovely car (Peugeot 406), and a sunny, laidback setting (Marseille). The Americans put up an old car, and shoved the action to the grey, crowded streets of New York City.<br /><br />Of course, the most shockingly bad scene was in the end, when the car drove off the incomplete highway and landed on a bit that wasn't connected. The camera zoomed out and immediately showed that there was that part of the highway there. Then, one of the bad girls shot Latifah. Wow, what a way to trash with a good ending. I hoped Latifah would die in that scene, personally.<br /><br />Now, I'm going to go into spoilers: Luc Besson did better in "Taxi". Who could forget that scene at the end? I quote:<br /><br />German (bad guy) #1 (after the car sped by Daniel, in a sense of ecstasy): "We've won!!!" German #2 (at the wheel, gives the other guy a bad look): "Are you sure?!" Only THEN, the camera zooms out and shows them landing on the uncompleted highway. Daniel (taunting Germans): "Hey, Einstein, have you ever heard of La Fontaine?" German #1 smashes his car's door and curses. Emilien and Daniel continue taunting and mocking the Germans.<br /><br />Done precisely in THAT order, the said scene made me roll on the floor laughing.<br /><br />What did Garant/Story do with that scene? They threw it in the dustbin, and made another which was badly made and lacking humor completely.<br /><br />Also, there are many more twists of the original which just reduce the comedy. F.O.C. Emilien's mother in the French original was a senile old lady, who found her house destroyed when her son left the kettle boiling by accident. And of course, who could forget the immortal line, when trying to comfort Emilien after failing his attempt to get a driver's licence for the 8th time:<br /><br />Camille: "Don't worry, Emilien. Your father failed his test too" Emilien: "But how? I saw him driving!" Camille: "He tried 20 times. Eventually, they gave him the licence."<br /><br />Re-creating her as a crazy, alcoholic old woman is just plain stupid. And of course, they didn't even try to come up with anything funny. They just threw her in and hoped it got automatic laughs.<br /><br />I'm glad that most critics jumped at the movie's neck once they saw it. I believe some critics and probably more viewers haven't seen the classic French series, but honestly, shredding those great comedies to pump out more mindless, crappy entertainment from Hollywood is shameful. It would've been easier just to release the original on DVD with English subtitles.<br /><br />I bet even the French are offended by this horrible remake.<br /><br />Final word: Pass this movie (it sucks bad), just see the French ones. It won't feel like wasting your time. You'll actually feel great. I mean, come on. Luc Besson on the writing. "The Fifth Element", anyone remember that? Now that was a funny film. Think for a second.<br /><br />I promise you, you won't regret it.