I believe it was but a young Steven Hawkings who once said "As I watched perfection and tried tirelessly to describe it's gleaming magnificence, 'twas four words that came to mind, "The Texas Nailgun Massacre...or perhaps it was "Dude, look at those titties!" Which doesn't make any real sense because that's actually five words, and Steven Hawkings can't actually speak. Regardless, it is fair to say as one who hasn't actually seen this movie and is only commenting on other comments, supposedly there is fare amount of "breasts" in this movie. That being said, I am now intrigued by these so-called "breasts." "Breasts" what a concept, bet you can't say it five-times fast? Damn, you can! Anyways, "Breast," if you rearrange the letters in the word "Breasts" you get "Streabs," which sounds a bit European to me, and I don't know about you but this is America! Home of the good ole' Red, White and Blue, where cars are made out of steel and might was built on coal and iron. Where that good ole' American spirit hangs in the air, and we all rally around that one ideal that makes us better than every other country in the world "Fuck Soccer!" But i'm getting off track, what was I talking about again? Oh yeah, "breasts", I would say tits, which is much cooler, but for some reason people find that offensive, and since I can't say tits I refuse to discuss the matter any further. Besides the fact that all I know about this movie is that it is called "The Texas Nailgun Massacre," there is not a single word in the English language to describe something as obviously amazing and awe-inspiring as this film. I thought of one but I don't think "splendiferous" is a word. Anywho, if you are lucky enough to run across "The Texas Nailgun Massacre" in your local video store (which you won't) I highly suggest you keep walking, because only those with hearts as pure as snow and strength as mighty as the wind blows can handle what lies in front of you on that movie store shelf..."Critters 3." But right next to that is a movie...I'm sorry, let me rephrase that, a revolution that is "The Texas Nailgun Massacre." <br /><br />(However since it is next to Critters 3, I bet you'll pick up both covers and compare the pictures on the boxes for awhile before you skip over both and rent "The Truth about Cats and Dogs," which is much cuter I think.)