Screenwriter and director Noah Baumbach's tale of his incredibly dysfunctional family could easily have been re-named "The Addams Family - 1986". The film recounts his ugly childhood with his younger brother, his writer-father and aspiring writer-mother living in Park Slope, Brooklyn in 1986. His father Bernard, played revoltingly well by Jeff Daniels, has absolutely no concept of what's going on outside of his own world as he spews obscenities and dwells on his past as a respected writer; of course now no one wants anything to do with his writing so he teaches English instead (Gee, haven't we see that a few hundred times in films?)Bernard's wife Joan, played by a mousy Laury Linney, decide that after many years of marriage that divorce is the best option; which seems odd considering that they have nothing good to say about each other and that Joan has had affairs with at least four different men during their marriage. Why they don't continue with this nightmarish marriage isn't explained; there isn't a catalyst for this decision. Once the separation occurs and Bernard relocates several blocks away to a house of lesser amenities the film shifts focus to the effect the separation has on the two children; Walt and Frank Berkman. Walt, played by a brow-furrowed Jesse Eisenberg, idolizes his father and models his view of the world after Bernard's twisted vision. The majority of observations from Walt's mouth are direct quotes from his father, yet instead of revealing the depth of admiration Walt has for his father these comments simply show Walt as being shallow and pathetic. We wait for Walt to develop a mind of his own but sadly that never happens. Frank, played mincingly by Owen Kline, steals the film as the repulsive chronic masturbator who leaves his calling card on any non-human surface. At one point Joan and Bernard get their child custody duties mixed up and accidentally leave Frank alone for three days. Frank spends the time drinking Scotch, masturbating to his mom's underwear, and passing out on the bathroom floor. The next scene is Joan and Bernard being confronted by the school counselor. What happened for the rest of Frank's long weekend? A nine year old boy left alone with hard liquor and a Oedipal complex is a film in itself, but we aren't allowed to witness this, or a scene where the parents find Frank near death from alcohol poisoning (assuming that could have easily happened) lying in a pile of his mother's panties. The rest of the film is filled with Walt's blatant plagiarism, a non-stop stream of offensive cursing, arguments, premature ejaculation, Bernard allowing his dinner guests at restaurants to only order half-orders because he's so cheap, unbelievable therapy sessions, Bernard trying to force his female student and border to perform oral sex only to be interrupted by his son, and a medical emergency that is offered as redemption but fails. Contrary to reviews I've read, there is nothing charming, endearing, funny, or clever about this film. It truly boggles my mind that most critics enjoyed this film. The only reason I can conjure is that most of these critics were raised in a family as hellish as this one so it's like spending time with old, heavily medicated friends. If this film's final scene was of the four Berkman's going for a hot air balloon ride over the Catskills, and the balloon crashing in flames into the mountains with no survivors, then I just might have walked out of the theater with a smile on my face. As it is, this a slice of American ugliness that no one should have to endure.