Name everything that's bad about recent comedies: the pointless gross-out humour, the gratuitous celebrity cameos, the wafer-thin plot, the fat/ugly jokes, the punchline-less jokes that consist of nothing but a reference to ephemeral American popular culture. Pretty good, but there's something missing - that one missing ingredient in this boiling pot of cinematic calamity.
And in Zohan, Adam Sandler appears to have found that one component required for this perfect storm of bad movie-making to occur - racist jokes. The vast majority of "jokes" in Zohan consist of little more than "Jews are penny-pinching cheats" or "Arabs are poor, stupid goat herders". What little characterisation anyone who is not Adam Sandler gets is either "hummus-eating weirdo" (Israeli) or "angry cab-driving terrorist" (Palestinian).
The plot is abandoned relatively fast in favour of Zohan having sex with lots of old ladies, and a nonsensical climax involving Mariah Carey shamelessly plugging her album. Don't say you weren't warned.