I tried to indulge in Feast: Unrated, the latest Project Greenlight, umm...project from Matt Damon and Ben Affleck (co-created with Wes Craven, the horror movie genius behind the Nightmare on Elm Street saga and the Scream Trilogy--still one of the best mystery-slashers ever made, even with the degenerating quality and originality that is seemingly inherent in sequels). The movie starts out on a good note, with frighteningly funny character profiles, including name, occupation, useful skills, and life expectancy (which, with giant, skinless, ravenous monsters heading their way, won't be very long). Otherwise, the few scares are predictable and the presentation of the film indicates more influence by Kevin Smith than Wes Craven. Among the more obvious pieces of evidence for this are a severed monster-penis flopping around the barroom floor like a hooked salmon, the constant Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back-style stream of F-bombs, and (one of the only meaningful chips off the Smith block) the banding together of various freaks, stoners, ass-kickers, and other aggrandized specimens of dysfunctional human normalcy to pursue the common goal of living whatever life there is to live. It's quite fascinating how many weapons one can find or make in a bar, but if you're looking to be good and scared, don't waste your money; Evil Bong is a better investment.