I've just stumbled on this movie and I thought "why not? Perhaps it's so bad it's funny" and I must admit it showed potential on that part. First thing you'll see is the opening sequence: John Cena in a Marine official suit saluting the audience, with the American flag as background. Enormous potential for a funny trash movie.<br /><br />If you read some of the best reviews here you'll find a lot of hilarious comments like "John Cena is an excellent actor". "Pure '80 fun" and "This movie is what's so great about America". Those people are clearly girls or boys in their teens who've been fed with MTV bull, PS2 games and cheap CGI . Let's dimanstle them in a quick way<br /><br />1) John Cena is an excellent actor. If this guy was serious, and the way he wrote it would imply so, then we're in dire need of some obligatory school lessons about funny action movies 2) Pure '80 fun. No, no it's not. The '80 gave us the finest cheesy action with Commando, Rambo 2, Die Hard and so on. Those were funny movies. This movie is abysmal.<br /><br />3) Let me tell you that if this movie's what's so great about America, then America must really stink as nation. <br /><br />Because "The Marine", an action movie starring John Cena, Robert Partick, Kelly Carlson and some other useless wannabe actors doesn't even try to be ironic or make fun of itself as it should; in fact, it tries to be a serious action movie. But let's make a quick summary to help you understand the atrocity of The Marine: <br /><br />plot: clichéd as hell. Those who say "but man, this is a rad action movie, who cares about the plot??" are forgetting that ALL the good action movies have some decent plot: Predator, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Face Off, Hard Boiled (god forbid me). This has none: villains kidnap Cena's wife, Cena smashes everything including passing through a couple of houses while hanging on a truck, Cena rescues his loved one. All this crap would actually resemble Commando, but you have a lot of humor and gags there, absolutely necessary for an over the top movie. There's zero here.<br /><br />John Cena: he's probably the worst actor you'll ever see. His face remains exactly the same plain thing during the whole movie; when he kisses his wife, when he's angry, when he's sad, when he's happy, when he's a douche. Go watch the first tree you find down the road, and that's Cena's performance in a nutshell<br /><br />dialogues: ... movie's in dire need of some irony, but like I already pointed out, it tries to be serious. A series of one liners trying to be funny, but they're just lame as hell. It's not even unintentionally funny. It's just boring.<br /><br />in short, don't even consider renting this crap for some laughs with your friends, you'll bore them to tears. Get Taxxi, The transporter or Snatch if you want tome dumb but ultimately funny action. It's a dangerous mixture of zero plot and acting, frenzied editing, bad CGIed explosions. It's just awful. But I don't want you to miss the movie intro with Cena's salute. Come on, it's ten seconds worth of your money