***SPOILER WARNING**** I do give away some plot points, but trust me when I say you will see them comin' down Broadway. No real surprises in this film... other than the fact that someone financed it. Now it begins:<br /><br />OH. MY. GOD. I CANNOT believe I sat through this entire movie. It was painfully awkward from opening credit to closing copyright. It felt like some middle-schooler penned the screenplay and then suckered all of his or her family members to go through these horrible, horrible motions. The dialogue was as stilted as the actors, who seemed to be overgrown eighth-graders in a terrible one-act play that ought not be. I remain convinced that any decent commentary for this film comes from a crew's family member or agent. And let me say again I give this critique based on the product... I do not mean to personally insult anyone. Obviously if you pull off a movie at all you have some creative talent... in this case I just think it went to waste.<br /><br />Was there a plot?? I don't remember seeing one. The story was poorly explained, poorly acted, poorly shot. The mother suffered from some vague "illness" that apparently had no visible manifestations. We never saw any reasoning behind why the main actress ever agreed to marry her selfish and philandering fiance, whose unfaithful actions were just as vaguely spelled out as the mother's illness. Was he a male gigolo traveling from town to town for "tricks," or did he manage to carry on three separate affairs on top of juggling a career (he did some sort of 'work' that required an 'office' and a 'briefcase;' that's about all we know.. wait.. maybe he was a lawyer and that fact came to light during one of the moments where I willed myself unconscious) and a fiancee? The sound quality was deplorable, often rendering the dreadful dialogue inaudible (which we soon realized was a blessing, in fact). The advertised appearances by two Backstreet Boys totaled about four minutes of on-screen time and one or two lines each. False advertising to say the least.. but maybe they had signed their names to the contract before reading the script, and in an effort to minimize the career damage, tried to contribute as little on-screen content as possible. It helps me sleep a little better to tell myself they had to realize how bad this film was... and yet, methinks they didn't.<br /><br />I don't know if major lack of character development or bad editing is to blame, but this is hands-down THE worst movie I have ever had the misfortune of enduring (and that INCLUDES "Beaches" and the unfortunate "Who's Harry Crumb?") When the male nurse solemnly walked into the mother's funeral with a RIBBON-WRAPPED WATERMELON (because we saw ONE scene where the nurse "smuggled" watermelon to the mother in the hospital.... is fruit really contraband in a HOSPITAL!?!) I actually fell off the couch laughing, screaming, howling in humorous horror. Good grief... my friends and I REWOUND that scene just to make sure we hadn't hallucinated in our sorry celluloid-induced stupor. I don't think hysterical comedy was the director's objective. I would call the entire cast bad actors, but I must admit they did a darn good job of keeping a straight face during that embarrassingly maudlin scene. Now, I am sure everyone involved is talented, and God knows I love the Backstreet Boys, but I simply cannot in good conscience allow another human being to subject himself or herself to this cinematic sewage.<br /><br />I am not suggesting we boycott any Backstreet enterprises... I still love "da boyz" and think it's theoretically very sweet that Brian Littrell helped orchestrate this monster, even helping write "Olive Juice's" theme song, so his actress wife could have a vehicle to spice up her career. Unfortunately, this whole enterprise was like some couple's inside joke or pet name thing that was never meant to be made public. Geez. Very few people can pull off an "LA Story" type of storyline... and even Steve Martin barely did it.<br /><br />On one hand, I feel bad saying mean things about people who no doubt worked very hard and long at bringing this creation to fruition. On the other hand, I'll never get back those two hours of my life. Gone. Poof. My two friends who suffered through this film with me will no doubt echo my sentiments. Lord help us all... there are other movies that got TURNED DOWN so this one could be made!!! Of COURSE it didn't get national release.. I'm surprised it made it out of anyone's living room. The over-ambitious director tried to cram so MUCH 'symbolism,' 'comedy,' and 'witty banter' into what felt like little more than a bad, bad after-school special... except the only moral in this case is "Don't see Olive Juice!" EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!