The Last Horror Movie thinks that it's more clever than it actually is. It begins by telling us that we've never quite seen horror as intense as this and that we're truly in for the ride of our lives. While some of the following murders are interesting, it completely fails at living up to such high self-regard.<br /><br />It's a film within a film. Sort of. We begin by watching a the REAL Last Horror movie, a direct to video slasher with bad acting and wobbly sets, but after a few minutes of that (a cunning ploy to make what follows look good by comparison) some guy appears and claims to have taped over it with his own home-made horror (obviously he has a full editing suite somewhere in his house) and tells his own story of killing and torture.<br /><br />Why would be bother watching this? Well we supposedly rented the fake horror movie so what's wrong with wanting to witness some real horror? He never seems to shut up about this.<br /><br />The guy in question is Max Parry, a mild-mannered (to the point of being a bit camp) wedding planner with a healthy relationship with his family, despite not being married himself. He's nice to his grandmother and good with the kids. No one would ever think him a psycho killer. But death and torture are his thing indeed.<br /><br />He's hired a homeless cameraman (who is Scottish, therefor by English law must be portrayed as a total mongo) to follow him around and capture his killings on film. Some of them are innocent and would really rather not be dead, but others are twats who deserve it. Max has no quibbles about killing old or young, man or woman, black or white. He never explains why he does it, but only justifies his actions by waffling on about twisted morals.<br /><br />Max claims the best part of horror movies is witnessing the kill. But most of his murders occur off-camera, which is a bit of a rip-off. I'll admit there is one cool scene in which a bully is immolated and another where he stabs a housewife, but I wanted more blood and perhaps some dismemberment. So much for being the last word in horror movies.<br /><br />Another problem is that the convoluted narrative constantly conflicts itself and could never actually add up in real life. Sad people like me notice this and it kind of distracts from the point the film is trying to make. And the ending could only ever be scary if one is half-baked. I can't imagine any clear-headed person getting even the slightest bit chilled by it at all.<br /><br />It's an ambitious project and I feel bad for rating it so poorly, but it's rather pretentious and just doesn't offer enough gruesomeness for the particularly blood-thirsty.<br /><br />If this really is the Last Horror Movie then it's a shame that the genre had end on such a weak note.