When I ventured to the theatre for the advance screening of The Last Mimzy, I honestly didn't know what to expect. What little I knew about the film was that its genre was part family film, part adventure and part drama. It was only a few weeks ago that Bridge to Terabithia left a bad taste in my mouth, so my walk to my favorite aisle seat was more of a saunter than a skip and a hop.<br /><br />The opening credits gave me a glimmer of hope. Timothy Hutton, Joely Richardson and Michael Clarke Duncan were names that appeared in big bold letters and each one of these actors I respected for their previous works on the screen. So I sat back in hopes that it was more Narnia than Terabithia. Wishful thinking.<br /><br />The Last Mimzy is about two children who find a box that has been sent back in time to save civilization. The children Noah and Emma Wilder (played not too convincingly by Chris O'Neil and Rhiannon Leigh Wryn) open the box which contains some magical rocks, a seashell that allows them to hear things humans can't, a contraption that looks like a dead sea urchin and a stuffed doll rabbit that is the weirdest artificial intelligence to grace the screen since that stupid bear gave me nightmares in Spielberg's A.I.<br /><br />When the children start to experiment and play with their new found toys magical things start to happen. They can levitate, they can atomize their hands, they can borderline fly. Oh, and they can sap the power out of half of Seattle which leads to the F.B.I. (headed by an uncomfortable looking Duncan) to investigate and eventually detain the Wilder family.<br /><br />The story as I think to understand it, is that a scientist in the future sends back multiple rabbits in an attempt to gather some pure DNA to ensure their own being. (Spoiler: Why the scientist was shot in one potential futures by an alien is still puzzling). See, humans can't go back in time, so this freaky toy has to go back and save the world. Interesting? Possibly. Original? Hardly.<br /><br />So while the future awaits word on Mimzy's success or failure (that is that rabbits name for anyone that cares), the children run amok by communicating with arachnids, jumping on the beach like an extra from Pixar's The Incredibles and talking to the stuffed animal that represents futures only hope.<br /><br />The Last Mimzy is like crossing the worst of John Hughes and crossing it with a below average Spielberg. The film has no heart, no character and the scenes seemed to be cut together randomly with very little flow between reels.<br /><br />All the actors look like they are trying to squeeze some movie magic out of the very skimpy, unoriginal script based on the short story by Lewis Padgett. But director Bob Shaye, who has not been behind the camera since 1990's Book of Love, weaves an incoherent and completely unbelievable plot that goes nowhere fast and results in a dead end once we get there. The final scene which has the F.B.I. leaving the Wilder family was maybe the worst written scene I have bore witness to this year. And I have seen more poop than a dog walker.<br /><br />The Last Mimzy might be for the kiddies. They might get something out of it. I didn't. The redhead beside me that engaged me in conversation about the film at its conclusion didn't. And judging by the few that left the theatre during the screening and didn't come back – I am guessing that they didn't either.<br /><br />www.robertsreviews.com