(r#31)
How can a movie be hyperactive, slick and flashy, yet boring, mind-numbing and comatose at the same time? Well, however Lee Tamahori (you know, the guy who introduced Madonna-techno to the Bond franchise) does it, he does it good: "xXx - squared, muthafucka!" is mindless, meaningless and utterly unenjoyable junk from start to finish.
Ice Cube as an action hero? Hmm, yeah, why not. Maybe for the next sequel, we could get M'onique or Anthony Anderson to star? Cube is one dull guy to root for and the fact that the script is void of anything remotely funny or witty doesn't help.
Samuel L. Jackson and Willem Dafoe? What the hell are they even doing in here? Were they doped up, or did they simply not read the script before signing on? One thought Jackson would have learned something from the first three-letter movie, but no: He's back, and more pointless than ever. Dafoe is a talented actor but this movie gives him absolutely nothing to work with as the "bad guy". A pointless Xzibit thrown in is just icing on the cake (if by "icing" you mean "strong Indian spices" and by "cake" you mean "open wound").
There's no plot worth mentioning and the action blows. Despite a high pace, endless attempts at humour and lots of stereotypes (for instance, all black people are badass rapper-type characters while all the whiteys are stiff senators or gay computer hackers - however did they come up with this stuff? Genius I tell you!), xXx2 manages to, somehow, be less entertaining and even a tad bit worse than its predecessor. How anything could top that Vin Diesel-ridden garbage heap is beyond me. Congratulations Lee Tamahori - you blow chunks!