In a telling scene in Goldeneye, Judy Dench (M) accuses Brosnan (Bond) thus: "You're a sexist, misogynist dinosaur - a relic of the cold war." Excellent lines, barbed, insulting; great scene, accentuating the fact that despite his background, Bond is a timeless, transcendent character. Most of the rest of the film doesn't live up to the sentiments, the edge, the focus and quality of it, sadly. It's almost like an intrusion from another, better, more creatively realised movie (The Third Man, for instance, from which it cribs some of its' plot). This, along with the haunting night-time meeting in a "graveyard" for monuments of Soviet Russian icons (a smartly allegorical instance) are perhaps the only truly inspired facets of this film.<br /><br />There is a sort of fragmented schizophrenic quality about GE that relates to tone, content and pacing. From the outset, with the breathtaking bungee jump off the dam, a real stunt by a real guy that manages to be both visually exciting and believable, my first impression was – if they're going to stick with this sort of approach; we're in for something special.<br /><br />Next, we meet the new James Bond, complete with floppy bouffant hair, hanging upside down in a toilet stall whilst a Russian guard has a bowel action. "Sorry, forgot to knock," quips Bond - before cold cocking the defecating Soviet. What? Sorry, forgot to knock? How lame is that? What an awful, misplaced, miscalculated line. It's void and meaningless, ineffectual and completely lacking any sort of wit or contextual relevance. Now suddenly we're in sub-par Roger Moore territory. Even something like: "Just dropped in," would have at least referenced how Bond got there in the first place. Radio Station Bond suddenly tuned out here, signal lost.<br /><br />Then, for a while, we're back on track with Bond meeting up with 006 and the planting of the bombs, Trevelyan's convincing "execution" by Orumov and Bond's escape. Great – a return to action- thriller mode once more.<br /><br />Only, instead of Bond making it to the plane on the motorbike at the last instant, wrestling for control as it slips over the edge of the cliff and flying triumphantly away, what happens? Bond has to fall over the cliff after the plane has fallen before him, skydive to catch it up – defying the laws of physics – and then fly away. What for, exactly, and why did they do this? It ruined what could have been a perfectly good conclusion to the PCS. It's as if they just had to add that bit of complete stupidity, as though driven by some irresistible instinct, unable to help themselves. Additionally, has anyone ever noticed that the Russian chemical facility is at the base of a dam and that both are supposed to be situated on a very high mountain where it's possibly a trifle unusual to find a massive dam? And when you see the mountain base from above, where's the dam suddenly gone? Any ideas?<br /><br />As for Brosnan, a prize cheese if ever, he cosmetically smarmed and smirked through the movie with the clumsy over-confidence of an actor who thinks he's extending his range, when he's really showing off his limitations against the backdrop of a more skilled supporting cast who unfortunately looked like they were outshining him even when underplaying. He should always be steered clear of real actors - for his own sake. And was it just my imagination, but didn't I see his right eyebrow strain to rise in an instinctive Moore homage a few times? I'm pretty sure about this.<br /><br />The scene on the beach is jarring, horribly manufactured. The Broz doesn't do emoting in any way convincingly and should never be encouraged to try. Robert Mitchum's advice for non-actors of "Just walk around and try not to bump into the furniture" is the level he's pitched and stranded at. All that staring off into the middle distance whilst the breeze tickles the bouffant is truly embarrassing. Campbell's attempts at injecting "real" drama into this sometimes ill-rendered hack-cartoon reality fails to gel, adding to the episodic feel of the film and further to a lack of singular vision.<br /><br />The pacing in GE feels all wrong - it speeds up, slows down, speeds up, like a Ford Cortina with the clutch burning out. And although some of the set-pieces are impressive, it doesn't seem to be able to sustain optimum thrust for long, as others seem painfully dragged out. Not helping in the least is the score which, it has to be said, is a truly dreadful thing of epic proportions. The worst and most offensive example takes place when Bond has a car race with Onatop. What were they thinking? Was it purposely intended for use in screenings only for the deaf? Those notes meant to signify car horns are crushingly ugly and horribly grating. A musical travesty capable of inducing suicidal inclinations in hyenas and hypomanics.<br /><br />What never ceases to puzzle and amuse on a personal level is when this film is rated highly by Bond "fans." Ultimately, it provides little more than a flashy, over-hyped, vapid, MTV-influenced pot-pourri of greatest hits moments which don't add up to a satisfying whole. It's like one of those mediocre compilation albums where you simply flick through to the songs you like, enjoying the few good bits, and arbitrarily disregarding the rest. Fleeting surface flash and gloss with no real heart or soul. A hollow Bond movie garnering hollow praise.