I've seen it before but I've never had occasion or the inclination to do it myself: apologise for giving a movie such a high rating.

The punch line seems to be JCVD thinks this is good stuff. After every movie he releases the critics as one gang up on him and saw him to pieces for every imaginable and unimaginable cinematic crime. And he writes to them - he writes to them and apologises. And laments his latest and greatest didn't turn out as good as he'd counted on.

And then he launches into a narrative about his next movie - and how good this next one, as opposed to all the losers before it, is going to be.

Either the guy is just an astute businessman or he really thinks these movies are great or both. Either way it doesn't matter and what really matters is what we get to watch.

No one I know would ever 'choose' to watch a movie like this. That we did watch it has to do with the fact that transmission is poor right now where we are living in paradise and there's only one channel and this is all that was on. Oh good grief.

There's a certain competition going on amongst these non-actors: seeing who can come up with the goriest most unbelievably bloody, disgusting, and bloody disgusting scenes. And that's bad enough.

But the direction and the S/FX make it even worse. A Bugs Bunny cartoon has more realism - and come to think of it, a Bugs Bunny cartoon has more pathos as well.

This is a husk - it isn't a movie. It's downright unadulterated pathetic. Avoid at all costs. For that matter, avoid all movies made by this 'tussle from Brussels' at all costs.