George W. Bush impersonations are the comedic equivalent of duck hunting in a 2*2 pool loaded with 50 ducks. There's no way you can't get something- in the duck case, meat; in the Bush case, laughs. Everybody has picked up on funny Bush mannerisms. They've heard his laughs and seen his shakes. They know he's a "good old boy." Not everybody laughs at Bush, but a lot of people (especially in Canada, where I live) do.

Comedy Central apparently knew this when assembling the guest list for their "Roast of Jeff Foxworthy." They knew that they had to at least get either some respected comedians in some form or some really funny non-celebrity comedians. They partially succeeded here- they got some really funny big-time comedians. Bill Engvall, Ron White and Larry the Cable Guy had to be there- they did Blue Collar! Most of the big-shots came up on tapes, like Jay Mohr and Denis Leary. That's fine with me. I just want to laugh.

I couldn't laugh with this special. It stank. It paled in comparison to the original Martin roasts. What really annoyed me about it was that almost all the comments included either profanity in the form of a four letter word beginning with "F", insults about Jeff's TV show and how bad it was, gay jokes or insults directed towards some Jeff routines that didn't include profanity.

Let me give you an example. The original Martin roasts are Ex. 1; the Foxworthy roast is Ex. 2. Ex. 1: You lightly tap yourself on the head with a screwdriver. Sure, it hurt a little bit, but not really. It was mostly in your mind. You could do this over and over before getting even a bump. This is like the Martin roasts: they did insult people, but the insults were mostly funny and even the celebrities who were getting roasted laughed at them. In fact, they more made fun of the celebrities than insulted them. Good, clean fun. Ex. 2: You drop a 500 pound weight directly onto your chest. You will either break your ribs, your skull, collarbone, arms and legs, or you will die. This is the Foxworthy roast. Comics getting up and delivering really bad insults. *Really* bad insults. They were insulting just to insult. The only exception is Ron White. This man is a genius. He can make just about anything funny. He went up and delivered good, clean jokes that more made fun of Jeff and his buddies than insulted them. He actually delivered the one good laugh that I got out of the entire evening: "This guy's been releasing CDs forever. I have 'You Might Be A Redneck' on vinyl, and when you play it backwards it goes 'heeere's your sign!'" See? A harmless little joke, referencing Bill Engvall's signature line. The rest was horrific. I couldn't watch it and actually got physically ill after Lisa Lampernelli's "performance." If you have this special on tape, burn it. If you have it in any way shape or form get rid of it. It was not good. It stunk.

In fact, it stunk so bad, I'd like to make "Roast Of 'Roast Of Jeff Foxworthy.'" -lpokeefe