There is no aspect of this movie that I was not completely embarrassed to behold.<br /><br />30 minutes: Welcome to Thailand. Thailand is beautiful. Buddha is our only advocate. We are Thai. We love Thailand sooo much. Thailand is great. We are peaceful.<br /><br />30 minutes: Random thugs out of nowhere capture a village, annihilating 100 children in the process.<br /><br />10 minutes: Remaining villagers wailing. But whatever can they do? <br /><br />30 minutes: THEY REMEMBER THEY ARE THAI. They listen to the Thai national anthem. They squeeze images of the good king of Thailand in their sweaty fist and say patriotic things. Then a village of completely twiggy people have some insane battle versus thugs with automatic rifles. The villagers are not unarmed, however. They attack with daunting weapons such as wicker balls, grapefruit, and a tea kettle. And of course, there is a dopey villager running back and forth through the carnage waving the Thai flag.<br /><br />45 seconds: Character development and crying.<br /><br />NEGATIVE TWELVE STARS