Parodying the title of David Reuben's sex manual "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)", the late Douglas Adams came up with an idea for a book called "Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Sex (But Have Been Forced to Find Out)". If such a book actually existed, the sexual act from which this film takes its title would no doubt feature in it, perhaps to the extent of having a whole chapter dedicated to it. If you want to know what a "donkey punch" involves you will have to watch the film, although I can report that it does not actually involve donkeys. The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals will doubtless be happy to note that no donkeys were punched during the making of this film. Whether the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Audiences will be so happy is another matter.<br /><br />Three attractive girls named Lisa, Kim and Tammi, on holiday in Majorca, meet four young men who invite them to their yacht. That sounds like the opening scene of a softcore porn film, and at first it seems that that is exactly what "Donkey Punch" is turning into. Unfortunately, matters take a more serious turn when Lisa is killed during a sex game that goes wrong. This leads to a conflict among the group. The surviving women Kim and Tammi want to report Lisa's death to the authorities, whereas the men want to throw her body over the side and pretend that she drowned after falling overboard.<br /><br />The survivors then start fighting amongst themselves, and the film descends into a spiral of violence, with several more people being killed in a variety of unpleasant ways. Something like this could have been the basis of an intriguing thriller along the lines of "Dead Calm", another film which takes place on board a yacht. (The manner of one of the deaths in this film seems to be a detail borrowed directly from "Dead Calm"). "Dead Calm", however, works as a thriller because it emphasises tension over actual violence and gives us characters, particularly the young woman played by Nicole Kidman, whom we can care about and with whom we can identify. "Donkey Punch", by contrast, does neither. The characters are a generally unpleasant lot who will do nothing to dispel the widely-held perception of young Britons abroad as drunken, loutish and rampantly promiscuous. There are a few moments of genuine tension immediately after Lisa's death, but thereafter the film simply descends into gore and mayhem; the only tension is that involved in playing a game of "guess who will be the next to be killed, and how". "Donkey Punch" is a film as nasty and sadistic as the act from which it takes its name. This was director Oliver Blackburn's first feature film; I can only hope for the sake of his career that his second will be a huge improvement on his first. 3/10