The only good thing about this movie is that it featured attractive actors and actresses. While there were a lot of "jokes," almost none of them was funny; it was just minute after minute of unbearably awful dialog and sight gags revolving around "old people shouldn't have sex."

I might have forgiven 'Surf School' for being an awful movie, but it's also one of the few that's managed to offend me on multiple fronts. Hey, it's 2005: you don't have to make five or six references in the script to how black your black character is, complete with Affirmative Action jokes. And I just love the gay guy wearing a red bikini, lisping about all of the beautiful boys while shaking his hips and petting other dudes for an entire agonizing scene! Yeah those queers sure are hilarious, aren't they?

But maybe the worst part of the movie was the female lead, Doris. She starts out as a pretty goth chick, who doesn't talk much and loves reading (in the movie she's reading Sylvia Platt's "The Bell Jar.") Everyone thinks she's creepy and she's restricted to background action. But toward the end of the movie she's urged to "show her support" for the boys. How does she do this? Why, by getting into a tiny bikini, seducing the "bad guy surfers," and -as a fantastic final touch- transforming herself into a blond, of course! Suddenly she's the center of attention and SO much happier! Who knew the secret to happiness was to stop reading books and whore yourself out?

I don't mean to say there's anything wrong with sexy female characters, especially in a beach movie. In fact, the gorgeous women and men in 'Surf School' were probably the only things that kept me from killing myself while watching it. But Doris's character does a complete and inexplicable 180 from a quiet intellectual to an oversexed exhibitionist, all in order to "encourage" a bunch of dudes who (with one exception) have been avoiding her for the whole movie.

Sorry Joel Silverman, but that's not sexy. That's creepy as hell.