Even MST3K couldn't shield me from this one. Watching Lance Fuller non-act his way through his role (does he ever change expression???) was about as fun as passing a kidney stone. For that matter, no one in this movie changes expression. The most talented performance was probably given by King the dog. Thankfully at least, the directors failed in their attempt to get John Carradine for the role of Carlo Lombardi. Shot on incredibly grainy film--which, so help me, actually IMPROVES things---and apparently with a lighting budget in single digits. another improvement, since it saved me from actually having to watch the people onscreen. Avoid at all costs.