The kind of well-intentioned, innocuous family film that makes you wanna to tear your friggin' hair out.

Oxford, MD, is a nowhere, nothing seaside town where everybody's bored, getting drunk or fighting, and occasionally all three. Little Emma (cute Tara Devon Gallagher) needs ear surgery, so she can't swim, which is her hope and dream. Her father, who taught her to swim, is an oyster farmer who wrecks his boat, and winds up out of work, leaving the family unable to pay for the medical attention Emma needs. Merrill (Sarah Paulson) is woundup hornball headcase blowing through town, offering solace to almost everyone in town. Gag me. SWIMMERS would be totally agreeable, if completely insipid and boring and a huge waste of time, family entertainment if not for Merrill's following dialogue: "Want a bl*wjob? I won't f*ck, but I can give you a bl*wjob."

(head scratch)… (yawn, stretch).