Romeo and Juliet: Sealed with a Kiss (DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID THERE? IT'S ABOUT SEALS!) is possibly the laziest excuse for a film I've ever seen. There are maybe 5 surnames in the credits to this film - clearly the backers of this film called in every family favour they could. One of the characters, a talking fish, is played by the director's daughter, for instance. She sounds about 8. She gets to sing a solo of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. This should give you some idea of the sheer skill and respect for the craft that went into this.

First of all, an interpretation of Romeo and Juliet where no-one dies feels... well, redundant. You can't really take one of the great tragedies and tack on a happy ending. Doubly so if that happy ending involves Mercutio surfboarding in taking racist jokes with the punchlines replaced by the word "Capulet".

Also, there is a dance scene on the Titanic. I don't know why these awful children's films feel the need to use the deaths of thousands for cheap laughs, but it's a trend that is apparently spreading.

And when it's all said and done, the Shakespeare content is pretty weak. The family rivalry is replaced by lazy racism, characters are cut or merged to the point of nonsense (we want Tybalt!), the ending is changed, all the scenes describing their courtship are cut and replaced with badly sung musical numbers, and yet Mercutio feels the need to constantly quote other Shakespeare plays! And use words like "thou" and "wherefore" wrongly, which isn't very educational at all.

All in all: hilarious for adults who know Shakespeare and are drunk. Weak otherwise.