So young master Jack Ryan's mommy must say every time she packs him out the front door to go to school,little knowing her cute poppet is in fact leading a double life as a CIA Analyst as well as learning the names of the capital cities of Europe.Doubtless worried he might develop a crush on his teacher,she would be horrified to learn he is dating a doctor nearly twice his age. Never mind,Mrs R.,he's bound to get straight "A"s in saving the planet from a nuclear holocaust.And here's how it all started.Are you sitting comfortably?....Then I'll begin. Once upon a time,back during the second Middle East conflict,the Israelis had a plane in the air 24/7 carrying a nuclear bomb.If they looked like losing(how's that for bad sportsmanship)they would bomb the crap out of Egypt.Sort of like picking up their toys and stomping off home.This plane - or one of a number of planes so equipped - I'm a bit confused on this point - is shot down and lies hidden in the desert for 29 years until it is discovered by Arabs,and a South African(taken over from the Brits in the International Villain stakes) buys it for $400 dollars,selling it on to a unregenerate nazi for $50 million.Said unregenerate nazi (Mr Alan Bates - a chain smoker just to add to his general bastardness) uses it to blow up a football stadium in Baltimore thus plunging the world into the nuclear abyss.Go figure. Luckily young master Ryan is able to get a few days off school to persuade the Russian Premier and the President of the United States that he knows better than either of them and after some jolly tense moments the President grits "Stand down to Defcon 3",thus earning young Jack a Gold Star. I have never read the book on which this daft movie was based.I can only imagine that it has been dumbed down and made more child - friendly. Perhaps young Jack can read it for himself when he gets a bit older. Until then he should content himself with learning that Paris is the capital of France,Vienna is the capital of Austria.....are you paying attention?I'll be asking questions later.....