It seems incredible that this codswallop was released 2 whole years after that definitive science-fantasy epic 'Star Wars'. Didn't these people watch that movie and see how high George Lucas had raised the bar for special-effects? With its sub-Gerry Anderson gadgets, its rousing 'Thunderbirds' style anthems, and its hokey un-special effects' this movie's production standards seem to hail from at least a decade earlier. Just check-out the falling bodies in the 1960's 'War Of The Worlds'; they're actually more believable.<br /><br />Scientists have discovered a large piece of rotating gingerbread, that bears a striking resemblance to Karl Malden's nose, on a collision course with planet Earth. It's a science fiction movie then? Well, not exactly. The reds are still under the beds so it's a cold war drama instead. That worthy old Russian diplomat Perry Stroyka has to do his stuff and make the anti-nose-defence-system a co-operative east-west effort. Is it a meteor? Or is it an asteroid? You decide; the scriptwriters evidently can't. Call it a nasalisk.<br /><br />In keeping with tradition, a host of top-dollar actors and actresses are bribed into compromising their careers. We see Henry Fonda, Natalie Woods, He Of The Proboscis, and of course: Sean Connery. Now there's a man with a sense of humour. Together they chew through a script with lines to die for - or at least from, probably by choking.<br /><br />To maintain its flagging interest, there are smaller noselets that arrive without warning at fairly regular intervals, unleashing some of the most lamentably wretched destruction scenes ever witnessed in a movie.<br /><br />Even as a bunch of Blue Peter washing-up bottles disguised as nuclear missiles are on their to the gingerbread, a noselet is inbound for New York, where the control centre has been sensibly sited underneath a river. Actually, that's not so absurd. Check-out Britain's 'National Archive' sited on the Thames flood-plain at Kew (you can bet that the most valuable items are stored in non-waterproof containers in the basement).<br /><br />So; just as the movie is about to climax with the destruction of the nasalisk, the camera cuts to Sean Connery and his team, now having to dig their way out of the smashed underground bunker. And - yes - the river does break through and - yes - it's a life and death race to the surface. This escape is cut and cut again with various boring views of rockets apparently whizzing through space. Will they stop the nose? Will Connery's team escape? Two climaxes for the price of one. Now that's good value. Lousy directing, but good value.<br /><br />Most of the rockets hit the nasalisk in three waves. The first two waves have the effect of causing a small part of it to glow red. Whereas the third wave blows it completely to atoms. Which is rather strange as each wave was supposed to have equal explosive intensity.<br /><br />Three or four of the rockets malfunction. And what becomes of them? Well; gravity would suggest that what goes up must come down. So there are several nukes destined to fall back to Earth, detonate in high atmosphere, and sprinkle everyone and everything with radioactive fall-out. Hmm.<br /><br />Yes, well; I think that's enough. Watch it with some friends and plenty of beer and your're likely in for a great laugh. But don't even pretend to take it seriously. I'm sure Mr Connery didn't.