That is the question you'll be asking while watching this. This monumental mess will succeed at confusing, boring, and annoying you, not in that order. The director makes you think that hey, I'm making a movie, I know that technique, see how good I am - which tells you how bad it is. In the opening minutes two scenes are spliced together - Campbell and her boyfriend on separate conversations, Campbell while walking down the street. Cinematic parallelism/contrast, anyone? The guy Campbell is walking with is her boss-to-be, who is dismissed without afterthought. What was that scene for? Dunno, who cares? Oh, something about her not wanting a mentor and sex and all that, it all ties together at the end, right? Duh.<br /><br />You can close your eyes and know when they are having sex scenes - by the classical music crescendo the score rams down your throat every time. Which scenes are about as erotic as watching pubic hair grow. In one, you are watching a curtain - yes, folks, a curtain -and something behind it, supposed to evoke prurient fantasies. Instead the viewer is just wondering, why the hell am I watching this curtain? In every sex scene you'll be asking some similar question. <br /><br />There are lots of conversations here, full of the following quotable quotes: <br /><br />Blahblahblahblahblahblah, I got girls, blahblahblahblahblah, where is the Count, blahblahblahblahbblahblahblahblahblahblahblah blahblahblahblah. Blah.<br /><br />There is only one interesting conversation here, between Campbell and the Count as he first attempts to proposition her. Too bad it's buried deep inside a labyrinth of the above-mentioned witty dialogues.<br /><br />Give it a pass, unless you watch it just to have fun trashing it later. Like what I'm doing now. Keeps me from regretting a wasted part of my life.