So very, very awful. You know how sometimes you rent a horrible movie because you expect to be amused by it's awfulness? This movie is the dreaded, actually bad "bad movie."<br /><br />After naif space-blonde Kara (Helen Slater) caresses her orb with something out of the Xandria Collection and ruins her space-city, she takes to the sky in super-crappy looking bowling ball to retrieve it. And lucky earth gets her.<br /><br />The big problem here is they strenuously avoided answering the question: What does a female superhero do in a movie-going culture that prefers it's women inactive, neutral and pretty? It would be difficult to create anything this numbing without having used a lot of drugs in the 70s. Nearly every strange, insipid frame of this inspires the thought, "This is a profoundly weird movie." The utilitarian script delivers functional scene after scene without regard to logic, human psychology, plot or intelligence. It does however excel at placing loud, stupid moments one after another until there's over two hours of crap on the screen; damned if you could offer a reason why.<br /><br />Every frame of this is just objectionable. Slater's voice is weird. Everyone's hair is fried. Kara's dad looks like a lesbian. The Utopian Argo city looks as limp as utopias have looked since Lost Horizon. i.e. "We're all mellow wussbags, and we all lay around in pajamas." The city looks like a mall made out of macramé. Total hippy B.S. The cast is a weird, weird mix. The story is elaborate and incoherent. There are easily 5 characters too many. Everything learned about movie-making in the previous 50 years is forgotten.<br /><br />They didn't get away with it here. But schlock like this paved the way for similarly bloated, stupid movies like Pirates of the Caribbean.<br /><br />Horrid, misshapen... insipid.