How do you make a crappy made for TV movie? Simple..

Take one ounce of single woman

Make sure she is fresh from a bad divorce

Put her in a empty flat

Mix in a handsome lodger with a dodgy history

Stir until sparks fly

Add in a sprinkling of suspicious best friend, jealous ex-husband etc.

Beat the dish thoroughly until sprinkling is quickly gone

Insert just a pinch of secret evidence about lodger's past

Be sure to place evidence near to woman

Knead the dough flat into a final conclusion

Keep doing this for a rather tedious 20 minutes

Chuck it in the oven, and voilĂ ! You have yourself a nice overcooked thriller!

Unfortunately, this recipe is rather hard to swallow under normal circumstances. But if your tastes are extremely low, or you like high fat foods with no filling, then this is the perfect dish for you! Be warned though, if you have an allergy to bad acting, or suffer from an inability to suspend disbelief, this probably doesn't come recommended. Try a nice orange soufflé instead, or just get some sleep.

Thank you for attending today's cookery class. Next week.. how to boil an egg! See you soon.. 3/10