I could tear this piece of crap apart, frame by frame. But it's not worth the effort to do so. MST3K hasn't touched this, only because there's not much to work with.
It has no entertainment value, at all. I pity the people who made this movie, because it has got to reflect some part of their bland, disconnected, below-average life experiences. Apparently a man named Peter Spelson is mostly responsible for this crap.
No joy, no suspense, no horror, no pathos, no character development, no direction. Plenty of mustaches though. This thing is like a 70s porno without the sex.